Happy Memorial Day

Good morning and happy Memorial Day!  Sarah and I wanted to do a special post today in honor and memory of her Mom, Juanita Kampfe (Sissy), and all our family members who have served our country in the Armed Forces.  Sarah is talking about her Mom's death and how she dealt with such a tragic loss in her life.  She will also be discussing her adjustment to a new Mom (me) and how God has worked in her life through the death of her Mom.  I know you will want to read her post, so check it out!!http://twopeepsandapooch.blogspot.com/

I discussed in our very first mother daughter blog how the news of Sissy's death affected me.  God used that situation to not only have me become "instant Mom," as we like to call it, but also to mold me and shape me in what were some pretty difficult circumstances.  The first year of our marriage was much more difficult that I had anticipated.  I remember moving into the house and having to clean out Sissy's night stand beside the bed that she and Paul had once shared together.  I think that was when real life started to hit me.  I began to feel emotions of jealousy, anger, and resentment. You name it and I probably felt it.  I sought counseling and through the help of my counselor and God I worked through the emotions.  My break through came when I asked Paul to drop me off at Sissy's grave.  There I stood at the grave site of a woman whose "ghost" had been haunting me for months.  In the moments that followed I laid it all out.  I yelled, I cried, I just released it all.  That was the beginning of my healing process.  Notice I said the beginning.  I had years more work ahead of me!  Now, almost 13 years later, I know I am a better person by going through all the adjustments and emotions that came with becoming the Mom of three children whose mother had passed away.  I am so grateful to God for blessing me with Sarah, Nathan and Laura who immediately called me "Mom."  Children who would become upset when their friends in Virginia would refer to me as "their step mom."  Children who could have hated me and felt I was trying to take the place of Sissy, but instead welcomed me with open arms and clung to me with all the love they had.  God has poured out His love to me through them.  No, the road has not been easy.  It has been marked with pot holes that felt like bottomless pits; with speed bumps that slowed me down to a crawl; running off the side of the road into many ditches, and feeling like I was completely out of gas!   God's grace somehow kept me going.  It has only been since about three years ago, that I can hear the kid's talk about Sissy and not become jealous.  That I can look at her picture and not feel some twinge of something weird inside me.  God brought me through with so many blessings!

In closing, I would like to say, "Thank you" to the following family members for their service to our country.  May we NEVER forget the freedoms we have because of you.  My grandfather, Carl Carlton, who served in the U.S. Navy. My Dad, who also served in the Navy.  Juanita Kampfe, Sarah's Mom, who served in the Air Force.  (Sorry this picture is side ways.  It is a picture of Sarah and her brother and sister after doing a rubbing of their Mom's grave stone before we moved from Virginia.)  I would like to give a special thank you to my brother, Mike Carlton, who enrolled in the Army when I was just a little girl.  You have been such an example of sacrifice, strength and bravery to me. I remember when you were away serving in Desert Storm.  I wore one of your military coats around all winter with a yellow ribbon pinned to it.  I was so proud to be your sister!  Thank you, Mike!  Also, to my friend Trisha Aldag, whose husband, Rich, serves in the National Guard.  I know her family has sacrificed for our country as Rich has been away serving.  One more thank you to our new neighbors, Michael and Elizabeth Mitchell.  May God bless each of you and your families for your service.



My Dad, Fred Carlton who served in the Navy.





My brother, Mike Carlton, who served in the Army.



My Grandfather, Carl Carlton, who served in the Navy.

Juanita Kampfe, who served in the Air Force.

Between a Mom & Daughter: Happy Mother's Day



Carlton & Madelyn with me, Mother's Day 2012

 As I sit here, laptop in hand, trying to decide what to type, I find myself reflecting on yesterday - Mother's Day.  I'm finding it difficult to decide what to write about, and this topic was MY idea!

Yesterday was a wonderful day.  I find myself thankful on Mother's Day.  I am thankful for my godly mother.  Thankful for all the wonderful memories I have of her and our time together growing up.  I hope my children can look back with similar special memories.  I am thankful that God chose to bless me with adopting Sarah, Nathan and Laura.  I am thankful that God allowed me to carry and birth two beautiful children, Carlton & Madelyn.  I find myself thankful for many things. 

I also find myself hopeful.  Hopeful that my children will see Christ in me.  Hopeful that, despite my many flaws and many mistakes, God will mold my children and make them more like Him each day.  Hopeful that with each passing year, God continues to teach me how to be a woman, wife and mother who is set apart. 



Me & Lola, Mother's Day 2012



Me & Sarah, Easter 2012

P.S.  Sorry for no pictures of Nathan.  He was working yesterday :(  And don't forget to check out Sarah's post @  http://twopeepsandapooch.blogspot.com/2012/05/between-mom-daughter-happy-mothers-day.html

Between a Mom & Daughter: Mom AND Friend?

Good morning Moms and Daughters!  Sarah and I decided we would just dive right in dealing with some big topics.  This week's topic is about being a Mom and a friend.  Some Moms out there may think you cannot or should not be both.  But hear me out on this.  You see, I was always a Mom to Sarah.  I was also a friend, and she didn't even realize it.  It was the same way with my Mom.  I knew she and my Dad were in control of the home, but it wasn't until I was married that I realized she was my friend and had been all along.  You may completely understand where I'm going with this or you may be boggled by my comments.  Either way, let me explain.

Yes, I set rules and expectations for Sarah.  She had driving rules, a curfew, dating rules, chores to do, grades to keep up, expectations on how her room should be kept - the list could go on and on.  That was the Mom part.  I also did fun stuff with her like shopping, crafts, planned special parties, helped with prom - this list could go on and on too.  That was the friend part.  But wait...there's more.  Sarah knew she could come and talk to me about anything.  And she usually did.  Her and a roommate from college (if you're reading this, you know who you are), will always remember the "sex" talk we had on the floor of my bathroom when they were seniors in high school.  You see, Moms, if we don't talk to them about important topics, someone else will and who knows who that someone will be or what they will tell our daughters.  Wouldn't you rather your daughter hear the truth, especially about sex, from you. This allows you the opportunity to instill in her the importance of sexual purity. This doesn't mean you have to sit down and have some uncomfortable discussion.  It's actually just the opposite!  When she asks you questions, which she will, just honestly answer them.  Don't you want your friends to be honest with you?  Shouldn't we as mothers give that same respect to our daughters?  I will never forget the night, at 21 years old, that I laid on my Mom's bed crying and asking her why I couldn't have sex before I was married.  I KNEW why, but I was struggling and just needed my Mom's reassurance that everything was for a reason.  She didn't freak out that I was dealing with that issue.  She listened and encouraged me.  She was my friend!  To this day I can still talk to her about almost anything as I know Sarah can with me.

I kinda got on the "sex" bandwagon, but there are so many other topics this principle can apply to as well.  Be your daughter's Mom, but have fun with her. Develop a relationship with her.  Talk to her - about anything - even if it makes you uncomfortable.  You'll be glad you did.  Because down the road, probably after she's married, it will hit her that you were her Mom AND her friend all along.

Don't forget to check out Sarah's post from a daughter's perspective!  http://twopeepsandapooch.blogspot.com/

Beauty for Ashes and Joy for Mourning

Good morning, girlfriends!  I just read a devotion based on one of my favorite verses for dealing with my down times.  I wanted to share some of it with you.

Isaiah 61:3

"To console those who mourn in Zion,

to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,

the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

that they may be called trees of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

In this mornings devotion by Sandra D. Bricker she states:

 "On the occasions that I've suffered a devastating loss, even though at times I couldn't see it, there was recovery ahead.  I would go on to live again, to smile, even to laugh.  When I didn't think I had a song left in my heart, somehow I was able to hear the soft hum in the distance, the promise of music on my horizon.

The more often we experience His willingness to turn our mourning into joy and our ashes into something beautiful, the easier it is the next time to believe that we will survive.  Like a muscle we've begun to exercise, our faith in what God will do in our lives is strengthened with its use."

Notice the underline portions of the devotion.  We ALL have times in our lives when circumstances seemed piled against us and we can't see through them.  We don't "feel" happy or "feel" like smiling or singing.  We put on our masks and go about our daily lives as best we can.  BUT...God does have a plan, doesn't he?  Think back to difficult times in your life.  Did God bring recovery?  Did God bring healing?  Did you feel happy again?  Yes, yes and yes!  Believe me, I've been there many times.  Times when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Times when I thought God wasn't there and wasn't working.  But I somehow survived.  And even in those darkest moments, somewhere deep down inside of me I had a peace.  Thank God for His peace, even if it is faint, during those times!

Let God give you beauty for ashes today.  To turn that bad circumstance into something beautiful.  Let Him trade your mourning for joy.

Until next time, hang in there and hold on to Jesus!  Don't forget to check back on Monday for my mother/daughter blog post!  See you then.

Jennifer